i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
