so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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