just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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