Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
