The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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