I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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