so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
