Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
