pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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