i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
