So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
