Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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