Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize