I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i out mim tonsoeep
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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