There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
