I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
