Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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