I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
