I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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