I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
