I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
