Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
