Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize