can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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