worst night to have a conscience
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
