The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
