found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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