I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
