Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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