i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
