I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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