Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
