Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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