Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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