i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
