i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
