I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
