I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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