Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
now i know why i became what i already was.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
