Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
