The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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