..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
