dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
