its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
