If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
