oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
