i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
