your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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