your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
