There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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