she was so not down for the gang bang
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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