Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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