K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
