he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
