why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
