yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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