Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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