great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize