Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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