Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
