It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
